Letting It All In

We strive for goals and aim for perfection. Why? So, we can experience a peak moment of accomplishment, a loving relationship, ideal health or fulfillment? But, are we EVER really "letting in" the joy of it all?

Not too long ago, I had the privilege of celebrating the launch of my book, The Power of Inner Choice. Nearly 200 friends, family and acquaintances joined me that gorgeous day in Los Gatos. About an hour into the party, my friend Ken Farber asked me how I was doing.

Well, all the details of the party had come together rather synchronically, people had stepped up and were serving food, drinks and managing the festivities. Dear friends were arriving every minute, people I hadn't seen in months or longer! People were enthusiastically buying books. It was "all about me," which was admittedly kind of fun.

But, superficial answers don't really cut it with my friend Ken. He's real, and likes depth and authenticity. I met him at a Byron Katie Weekend Intensive, and he's an exceptional individual. So, I shared - "Well, most of me is really excited and present with everything going on." And...there was another layer. So I continued. "And, I notice a small part of me is thinking that I should be doing more to help execute the party. I'm normally the one at my parties putting food in the oven, filling up the chafing dishes, serving drinks and attending to details." Alas, all I was doing was signing books and greeting people.

It was obvious to both of us what was needed. Tapping into Byron Katie's simple questions, Ken instinctively asked, "You should be doing something, is it true?" I checked in and realized everything WAS being handled. (Thank goodness for Margaret and Jim!) There really wasn't anything more to do, than to simply be present and graciously sign books.

Then he asked, "How do you react when you think the thought, 'I should be doing something'?" I answered, "Well, a part of me isn't available to be here 100% with my guests. I feel some underlying nervous energy and anxiety. My chest is tight. A part of me is in the kitchen. I'm in my head, not my body."

Ken then asked, "Who would you be without the thought, "I should be doing something'?" My eyes immediately swelled with tears, as I felt my chest lighten and overwhelming feelings of gratitude and emotion poured into every cell of my body. It was uncomfortable and awkward, yet freeing. I could barely answer the question. Without the thought, 'I should be doing something,' I would have to fully take in that this party is for me (and my book) and these people came to celebrate with me. That was extraordinarily overwhelming!! Thank goodness, I had on sunglasses and the champagne had already been poured. I felt so much gratitude and joy. It was truly one of the sweetest moments of my life.

Once again, I am amazed at how one little innocent thought kept me from experiencing all the love and joy available to me in that moment. I immediately felt more relaxed, lighter and at peace inside, able to be more present to everyone. What had I been waiting for?

All too often, we strive and strive and strive -- in anticipation of some moment. And, how often do we block and filter the most wonderful feelings of love, joy and gratitude from ever coming in? Where are YOU not letting in all the love and joy you deserve? For me, I realized that I was filtering the love from my relationship, as well as love from others.

Have you ever thought your significant other was "with-holding" love from you? Could it be that your RECEIVING gates just weren't letting it in?

Business accomplishments, contributions to the lives of others, joy of an experience, love from a friend, achieving a health goal, receiving a bonus check are all opportunities to "let in" good feelings. Perhaps, like me, there is an innocent thought standing in the way of feeling all the joy you deserve. If there's a "I'll celebrate when...," or "I have too much to do" or "They don't really love me" thought lurking nearby, I invite you to investigate the thought with Katie's four questions (www.lovingwhatis.com). With an little intention and investigation -- you can quadruple the good feelings in your life almost immediately. Experience life fully - DO IT NOW.

Soulful CHALLENGE: Identify any thoughts that may be blocking your RECEIVING muscles. Put the thoughts up against "inquiry." Challenge yourself to get present and take in all the love, joy and appreciation from others. You DO deserve it.

(Katie's questions and instructions for "inquiry" are also found in my book, The Power of Inner Choice.)

Mary Allen, CPCC, MCC is author of The Power of Inner Choice. She hosts Conversations with the Masters interviewing best-selling authors via free, live conference calls. Visit http://www.lifecoachmary.com to learn about coaching, her popular year-long Success and Inner Peace Bootcamp and tap into a wealth of resources including her ezine SoulFULLY Living, and Your Daily Gems.

It's All About Passion and Purpose

By David Bohl

Productivity seems to be the Holy Grail of the twenty-first century. We spend tons of money, and even more time, on things like effectiveness training, time management, planners, goal setting instruction, and general productivity tips.

And many of us pour all that time and money into careers that don't really matter to us. The results, not surprisingly, are disappointing, because we're trying infuse our work with energy and effectiveness, and those things don't come from outside. They can't be infused if there's no passion, no purpose. You absolutely cannot be truly effective, and in turn truly successful, without being passionate about what you're doing. And passion is not something you can invent. It's something you have to discover.

So how do you discover this passion? Where do you find your deepest, truest love and purpose?

The first thing to realize is that discovering your passion is a process, not an event. You're not going to sit down at your desk and get up five minutes later with your passion and purpose all written out on a post-it note. Your vision of your life will change over time, and you will become more steeped in your passion and your purpose. But the beginning of the journey is establishing a vision. Think about your life in the future, a year or three years from now.

Try envisioning yourself at an awards dinner, with you as the guest of honor. What would you be receiving an award for? Who would be giving it to you? These are two exercises that may help you find your passion, but chances are you already know what your passion is; you just don't know you know.

Think about the last time you stayed up until 3 a.m. talking to someone. What were you talking about?

What one thing that you do, would you do for free, if no one was willing to pay you?

If you're a reader, what have the last ten books you really enjoyed been about?

What do you believe?

What do you love to do?

What would you be doing if you could do anything you wanted?

Finding our passion and our purpose in life is rarely as hard as we think it will be, but it is made harder by believing that our passion, and our purpose, have to be related to what we already do, or that we're not "allowed" to have a passion or purpose in certain areas because of some limitation. Before you spend any more time on effectiveness, why not take a little time to evaluate your passion and purpose? As noted author Stephen R. Covey has pointed out, it really doesn't matter how fast you climb the ladder if it's against the wrong wall.

To get started finding your passion and purpose:

• Name three things you have always loved doing, no matter what they are.

• Think about your career in terms of things you love doing. How closely do they overlap?

• Imagine two careers you would embark on if you could start a new career today.

Lifestyle Mentor, Personal Coach, Author, Educator, and Entrepreneur, David B. Bohl is the creator of Slow Down FAST. To learn more about this step-by-step strategy for Living YOUR Life YOUR way, and to sign up for his 9 FREE Tips for Finding Happiness in a Fast-Paced World, free teleseminars, free Special Report, free bi-monthly ezine and more, go to: http://www.SlowDownFAST.com

Your Stamp Of Approval

Everything you have in your life right now is because of you! Your career, the relationship you've chosen (or not chosen) to be in, your current state of health - it's all materialized with your personal stamp of approval.

Think of yourself as CEO of a company called Y-O-U.

Of course, it can be tempting (and a whole lot easier) to pass the buck. "I had to take this job, because I need to make a living. I'm not in a relationship because I can't seem to meet the right person. I got sick because that was just God's plan for me..." Bottom line? It's all bunk. Junk. Stories you've been telling yourself over and over again, ad nauseam, so you've come to accept them as blind truth. (What stories have you been accepting in key areas of your own life? Upon further examination, are your stories actually true?)

Quantum physics has shown that nothing exists without it first being observed. So ultimately, it's your perception of what shows up for you which shapes your reality. Owning this is a huge responsibility, and frees up the necessary space to make meaningful shifts in your thinking. And remember, from an attraction perspective, how you think determines how you feel. When you feel good, that's when you'll begin to notice more desirable results showing up in you physical world.

So just for today, imagine you have an 'approval stamp' in your pocket. Pay attention to everything you observe. And keep in mind - for all of it - it's you who bangs that stamp down and says, "Yes, I authorize this." In giving up the convenience of blaming outside forces for your present situation(s), you regain the most priceless possession of all - and something many of us have lost along the way - your unlimited power as a human being!

Until next time...

With love,

-Jeff

Jeffrey T. Brownstein is a Certified Empowerment Coach (CEC), specializing in Law of Attraction, and founder of Lifescaper Coaching LLC. He has Bachelor's degrees in English and Metaphysics, and is also a professional speaker, Certified Energy Healer, Holistic Health Consultant, Landmark Education graduate, and has been a Group Exercise Instructor for 13 years. Jeff resides with his wife Allison in North Carolina, and is working on a book about harnessing the power of Law of Attraction. Contact information: Lifescaper Coaching LLC, 888-262-6999, jeff@lifescaper.com Want to receive more Law of Attraction news and articles? Get LOA to work for YOU. Sign up FREE for 'Lifescapers' now! lifescaper.com

 

So What Is Motivation? How To Find It, Keep It And Use It

Ok, so the first thing is you need an answer to the question "What is motivation?"

Well, if you look elsewhere on the web and in your local reference library you'll find many, many ideas about this but my favourite place to start is this rather neat description.

"Motivation is having the desire and willingness to do something." (Source: Wikipedia)

You see that's the point, in order to get anything done you need both the genuine desire to achieve the result and also the willingness to spend some time making it happen.

Take this article. For you to see it I needed to genuinely desire that I share my thoughts and I also had to be willing to take time out of my life to get the thing written?

Let's try those questions

Do you often find your get up and go has got up and went? Ok so perhaps this is a question of another desire getting in the way of the one you feel you should be having? We all have times when we'd really rather be doing anything other than the thing we should be doing and often that's just a lack of desire. The other thing is you could just be unwilling to make the effort - an example could be walking the dog in the rain. You know you ought to do it, and you really want the dog to have it's walk, but it's raining for goodness sake!

Perhaps the motivator here is staying dry and warm in front of the tv?

Poor old dog.

Does work equate to boredom? If it does then you have two choices, change how you feel about the work you currently do or change the work. In actual fact the latter is rather the easier of the two it just takes more faith and belief to do it. I did it. I was dreadfully bored sitting in various offices doing work I didn't believe in and having to do the 7am to 7pm shift just to do the 7 hours work I wouldn't get paid much for. Realising I had the same two choices anyone else has, I started working in the evenings and weekends and gradually got brave enough to take the bull by the horns and start doing what I wanted to do full time. As the saying inevitably goes, if I can do it......

Do you start lots of projects, and don't finish them? Ok, taking the thoughts above in mind here then perhaps what's really happening is you enjoy the start of a project because it's new, it's fresh, it's kind of exciting and then as soon as you've got the bit's out of that box from the DIY store and you've looked in vain for any sense in the diagram that came with the wood and the screws, you're well on the way to "I'll get round to it later" In order for the project to be completed therefore the MOTIVATION needs to equate to the end result not the start of the job, you have to be willing to do the work, put yourself out and do the thing you really didn't want to do in the first place. I hire someone in - it's cheaper and the shelves stay up.

Perhaps what you need is more MOTIVATION? Well maybe that's the case but for my money, this is simply part of the much larger puzzle. In order to have a great life, we need to work on ourselves all the time, to learn, to grow, to evolve so that the world around us, while it still may not care about our lack of motivation, is easier to deal with.

Motivation is inside you, you just need to find it, harness it and use it.

Alan Gee is a Life Coach and Motivational Speaker "Why waste any part of any day, you're only on the planet once?" W: http://www.alangee.co.uk E: info@alangee.co.uk

The Magic of Memory Lane

On a recent early autumn evening, I walked around the farm of my kidhood. In the spring, my father passed away, so I have spent more time here this year than in recent years. And on this particular evening I was on the farm alone. As the sun began to set a different memory seemed to arrive with each new step; memories of being a boy, of growing up, of mistakes made, of lessons learned and so much more.

I don't share this to be sappy or sentimental, though I can be both of those things. And to say that a tear drop didn't hit the ground would be a lie. But those are not the reasons I write this.

I write this for what happened after the tears fell and about the time the moon began to rise. I stopped thinking about those memories for a minute and started thinking about the day I had just spent as a professional 45-year-old man, doing things that seemed so far removed from this place and those memories.

And then the magic happened.

I began to connect those lessons and memories of the past to the things I did today, noticing things I could have done differently or better. I recognized that how I handled some things were a direct reflection of those lessons I had just remembered, though clearly they had been with me earlier in the day, I just didn't make that connection consciously.

The magic of learning happened.

It happened because I had stopped to reflect.

I stopped.

I reflected.

I took time to think, even though my laptop and a to-do list awaited me in the house.

I took time to think.

I thought about lessons from long ago and how they applied to me today. Though separated by time, context and circumstances, there were lessons remembered and learned that night that helped me be more effective, productive and successful the following day.

You can do what I did.

You can experience what I experienced.

You don't have to be at a farm in Michigan, or your childhood home. You could be walking down your street or across a college campus. You could be riding in a subway or sitting in your office. The where doesn't matter; what matters are the actions we must take.

You must turn down and turn off all the noise around you.

You must tune in . . . to your inner voices.

Scan the memories.

Ask the questions.

Listen to the answers.

Reflect.

Think.

And learn.

Your walk down memory lane may really happen (as mine did), or it may be in your mind; regardless of the where, the memories will offer lessons and learning opportunities - both long remembered and brand new.

And both will be magic.

Kevin Eikenberry is a leadership expert and the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group, a learning consulting company that helps Clients reach their potential through a variety of training, consulting and speaking services. To receive your free special report on Unleashing Your Potential go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/index.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.

Motivation for Success - Ignore Negative People

By Spencer Steele

Whenever you have a big idea or plan or anything that seems positive and optimistic - people are going to tell you why you're going to fail. They'll tell you you can't do it. They'll tell you It'll never work. I can't tell you how many times I've had a great idea spit on by people around me. Ignore them - you need to totally ignore negativity.

People will tell you this kind of stuff for a lot of reasons - It might be jealousy, it might be out of ignorance, it might be because of their own fears and insecurities or they may just have a negative or cynical perspective on everything in life. Either way - Ignore them!

If great people in history listented to the nay-sayers... nothing great would ever have been accomplished. This doesn't mean to be stupid - if someone is offering you good advice - it's okay to listen. You can take their viewpoints into consideration because there may be some good advice in there - don't assume you have all the answers. It's okay to change your plan around a little - but never let it stop you - NEVER!

Negativity is everywhere and it comes in disguises. It comes from people you love - your best friends - it comes with smiles. Learn to challenge people's comments in your own mind and if you realize they may be right - immediately think of alternatives instead of giving up. As a very basic (and a little bit ridiculous example) - If I have a massive ice making machine and I tell someone my idea to sell ice to Eskimos- and they tell me that it's a terrible idea - it'll never work. I don't think, "yeah - you're right" and quit. I think about where else and who else I can sell ice too. You can tailor your plan based on the advice but never, ever do let it stop you.

Get more free success tips and motivation at GetUltimatePower.com

 

The Secret to Self Loving

This past year, I have come to appreciate the power of truly loving myself. Most of my life, being alone was one of my biggest fears. I found myself in numerous relationships for the wrong reasons and ended up settling in ill-fitting 'partnerships'. This deeply rooted fear and lack of understanding of myself caused the relationships to become my whole world; my focus of attention; my center. I would sacrifice my own goals for the other person. And, when the relationship collapsed, so did my sense of self.

Through much introspection, I realized the source of these failed relationships was myself. I realized that I didn't truly love or appreciate myself and had relied on external sources for love and approval. I decided to change. I had to overcome my fear of loneliness by finding independence and personal freedom. Even since I found true appreciation for myself, the quality of relationships I have attracted has been phenomenal. I have discovered that the more I loved and understood myself, the less I feared being by myself, and the more healthy relationships I have attracted into my life.

I started doing what I called "Dates with myself". Regardless my external relationship status, I would schedule time with myself. I would literally take myself out on a date and spend that time totally focused on myself. It's my time. We spend so much time and energy focused on others that we forget to recharge the source of that energy. It is only when you are well that you can have the energy and internal resources to make a positive difference and help others. This is a simple, yet powerful concept that can dramatically improve your wellbeing, effectiveness and mental health.

Before attempting a 'date with yourself', Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Remove Disturbances - unplug your phone, power down the cell phone and blackberry, shut down the computer, turn off the tv. Do not let your mind get distracted during your self-date. This is your time to just be with yourself.

• Being Solo - It's important that you are on your own. You can talk to strangers, and make new friends, but you are on the self-date to get acquainted with yourself, no one else. If you live with a partner, schedule it so he/she isn't home, or just take yourself out of the house. If you have kids, find a sitter, or plan around when your kids are not at home. It's also important to realize that this time is a gift for yourself, and you should only be focused on your well-being.

• Schedule - Plan how long you would like your dates to last. Set a minimum time, and commit to focus on yourself for at least that time. I typically schedule 2-4 hour dates with myself.

• Communicate - if you are in a relationship, it's important to communicate what you are doing and it's benefits clearly with your partner. Not only do we get their support, but also avoid any misunderstandings or neglect.

Here are some ideas for 'dates with yourself'. You can intermix several activities below into one date:

• Reading Date - Go to a trendy café or find a comfortable place at home and read something inspirational for an hour or more. Have some hot herbal tea, cut up some fruits or crackers with cheese. Fully enjoy the experience.

• Forgiveness & Gratitude Date - Find a comfortable spot. I like to sit on a bench overlooking the water at sunset, or curled up on the couch in my living room table surrounded by candles.

  • Forgive - Write on a journal or loose paper all the things you forgive yourself for. We tend to be very harsh on ourselves, and voluntarily blame ourselves internally for failures, failures of achievement, failures to action, etc. Take this time to forgive yourself for all the harsh things said, for mistreatment of your health, etc.

  • Gratitude - List out all the things in your life you are thankful for. This is my favorite thing to do.

  • Admiration - List out all the things that others admire about you. What are some things they'd say that you are good at or have natural abilities towards? Notice that I wanted you to pretend to be another person looking at yourself. We tend to blank on this question when asking ourselves directly.

• Musical Date - Take in a live concert after treating yourself to a healthy and satisfying meal. For example, every Thursday, I used to make myself a great raw vegetarian meal and then go to the Symphony. Did you know that you could get cheap single tickets in the first 4 rows? In Seattle, it's $15 at Seattle Symphony. Most people are not aware of this. It's not advertised.
  

  Another idea is going to a jazz club or a show. Talk to strangers when you are there. You'll find the experience much more rewarding.

• Yoga or Meditation Date - Take a group yoga or meditation class at a local gym, community center, or temple. I used to do drop in classes at YMCA. They are $10 a class for non-members. After class, jump into the Jacuzzi if there is one. Come home, enjoy a light meal and relax for the evening.

• Outdoors Date - Go for a long walk in an area that interests you. Go to a park, go camping, go for a long drive. I like to spend an hour on Sundays walking through the 'pike place' market (local farmer's market) with my dog, Tommy. I enjoy seeing all the tourists, fresh produce and the energy in the market. I also like to walk along the waterfront. It's a good idea to bring a book and some water with you. Wander without rushing.

• Art & Culture - Go to an art gallery opening or a local museum. In Seattle, we have the art walk the first Thursday of every month where many galleries are open into the night. It's very festive and inspiring, and I especially enjoy the people watching.

Tina Su is passionate about Personal Development and Spiritual Growth. She runs multiple businesses and has learned how to do so without any Stress. Visit her website at Think Simple. Be Decisive for her secrets to Productivity, Motivation, Creativity and Happiness. To see the images from the original article, please visit here: "The Secret to Self Loving"