Self-Respect - Six Examples of How Learning to Respect Yourself Attracts Respect From Others

Too many people expect to be respected by others when they don't act respectfully themselves. Once you learn to respect yourself, you will attract respect from others. Here are some guidelines for learning self-respect.

"I want him to respect me."

"If people respect me, I'll respect them."

"My kids should respect me (it doesn't matter how I treat them)."

If you don't respect yourself, you'll never respect others.

Self-Respecting People

1. Think about how their behavior affects the people around them

2. Consider what they say before blurting out hurtful words

3. Understand the Golden Rule according to Eugene Brown, LPC (my former supervisor and mentor): Do unto others as they need to be done unto

4. Seek first to understand, then to be understood (Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

5. Take responsibility for their behavior

6. Let go of the need to hold grudges

Let's look at these six ideas about self-respect:

1. Think about how their behavior effects the people around them

Self-respecting people realize that they don't live in a vacuum; their behavior affects others. They think about what they do and ask themselves, "How will my doing ________ affect the people I care about/my coworkers/others I come in contact with?" They weigh the consequences carefully before acting.

2. Consider what they say before blurting out hurtful words

When self-respecting people engage in disagreements with others, they act diplomatically. Yes, they experience anger just like the rest of us, but they choose their responses instead of allowing a knee-jerk reaction to determine what happens next. They realize that hurtful words won't help their partner understand what is wrong and will harm the relationship.

3. Understand the Golden Rule according to Eugene Brown, LPC (my former supervisor and mentor): Do unto others as they need to be done unto

This ties into understanding that their behavior impacts others. They realize that just because they would like something done a certain way, that others may not agree. They take the time to learn how others need to be treated, rather than just using a "one size fits all" approach.

4. Seek first to understand, then to be understood (Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

Self-respecting people understand the value of active listening. They know that if people feel understood, then they are more likely to be willing to listen to another person's point of view. Self-respecting people do not try to push their views on others to be understood first. They are willing to work to earn the other person's respect and trust.

5. Take responsibility for their behavior

This means they are willing to admit when they are wrong. They feel comfortable with themselves and don't feel threatened if they make a mistake. Their ego isn't tied up in always needing to be right. This also means that the self-respecting person lets others be responsible for their behavior, letting go of the need to control them or change them.

6. Let go of the need to hold grudges

Self-respecting people realize that when they hold a grudge, they keep themselves locked into anger and resentment. They know they will keep growing as a person when they allow others to be responsible for their behavior instead of holding a grudge to try to make others change.

For more tips and tools for attracting love and prosperity into your life, visit http://www.sanantoniorelationshipcoach.com For weekly tips and tools sign up for Michelle's free newsletter, Relationship Success, while you're there. You can also visit http://languageofrelating.blogspot.com and http://powerofgratitude.blogspot.com Michelle E. Vasquez is a Relationship Coach in San Antonio, Texas. She specializes in helping people attract the life they want and create the relationships that bring them joy. She is available for in office and phone coaching for individuals and couples who want to create more joy in their relationships.

 

The Obvious Truth - Revelation

By Christina Sponias

Many people told me I'm giving too much valuable information entirely free of charge; others told me that I'm helping people through several sites only because I want to sell my ebooks...

Some people attack me, while other people admire me and show me how grateful they are for what I am teaching them.

I think we must have a communication, since we are on the Internet, I write an article per day for you or even two if I have the time, and I want to answer all your questions.

I feel that it's my obligation to give you as much information as I can in the short articles I write everyday, because I discovered exactly what provokes depression, craziness and suicidal tendencies and how we can be cured by following the directions we receive in our dreams from the wise unconscious.

This is similar to saying that I discovered how to feed humanity without any problem forever. I cannot keep such a secret to myself... I have the obligation to feed the crowd that is hungry and needs bread.

I'm proving three basic truths to the world:

1. The human being is basically a demon, since the biggest part of one's psychic sphere belongs to the wild conscience, which is violent and evil and one's relatively small human conscience is idiotic, since it works based only on one completely developed psychological function and the absurd ego that leads the conscience to the labyrinth of craziness with its absurd desires.

2. The unconscious that produces the dreams is directed by God, who really exists and is really as saintly as presented by all religions.

The wise nature of the unconscious is perfect and we can trust it completely. The wise unconscious constantly tries to save the human side of our conscience from the invasion of the wild anti-conscience that is demoniac and wants to destroy it.

If we obey to the directions we receive in dreams not only can we prevent and cure depression, craziness and suicidal tendencies but we can also become geniuses.

The unconscious tries to develop all our psychological functions, since three of them are dysfunctional because they belong to the wild side. They must be transformed, so that they become a part of the human side and help us judge the world and our situations much better.

3. The ignorant and evil human being must obey God's directions, given by the unconscious through dreams, so that humanity may be saved from terror and despair and learn how to live peacefully and happily on Earth.

Therefore, I am not so special: the wise unconscious revealed everything to me. I only had to study the books that I came across, to follow the guidance from my dreams, to be a good student and to be patient.

I am only a dream translator-the real doctor is the wise unconscious.

This is why I can guarantee your cure.

The real doctor is the one who knows everything about you; it is not me, the ignorant human being who translates the wise dream messages.

This is why I want to teach you how to interpret your dreams by yourself, instead of hoarding this secret. You can have the same privilege: you can learn everything I know and communicate with the unconscious.

This is the bread of eternal life!

At the same time, this is the end of craziness, terror and violence on Earth.

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere. Learn more at: http://www.booksirecommend.com

 

Underemployment: What It Is And How You Can Avoid It

Underemployment is typically when you are employed in a position that does not fully utilize your skills and is probably a position that is not ideally suitable for you at this stage in your career.

Letting yourself get into this position can cause bigger problems long term but can also have immediate negative effects on your career.

In my experience as a recruiter, being underemployed can be dangerous for a number of reasons, all of which can hurt your long-term success:

People who experience underemployment tend to feel desperate to change jobs.

When you are desperate to change jobs, this usually becomes obvious to hiring managers and recruiters. No one wants to hire a desperate person but if you know you are underemployed, you can manifest it by applying for any job that comes your way which may simply lead you to accept another ill-suited position.

When you suffer from underemployment, it can be difficult to convince a potential hiring manager that you're capable of a more senior position.

Afterall, if you should have a more senior position, why don't you? I've interviewed job searchers who are underemployed who not only show their desperation to change jobs (see above point) but tell me that they are having trouble convincing hiring managers that they actually qualify for more senior positions.

This is tough because some hiring managers will just look at the person's current job title and responsibilities and rule this person out of the running for whatever job they are looking to fill. In other words, not only are you underemployed, you find it hard to convince people that you're capable or doing more!

Underemployment can lead to problems in your personal life.

When you experience underemployment, you can also become underpaid. Being underpaid can again lead you to take desperate measures and certainly leaving one job for another for solely monetary reasons can lead to more problems especially if the job you move to ends up being not exactly as you'd thought it would be.

If you experience underemployment, you might be short changing yourself (literally) by not only preventing yourself from having a more satisfying job, but from having a higher paying one too.

How can you avoid underemployment?

Don't let yourself become too comfortable at work. In other words while it's nice to feel safe in your position, feeling too safe can cause you to lag behind and then find it hard to catch up again.

Keep active in your industry whether it be talking to peers, attending industry conferences, taking training classes through work or on your own, etc. In other words, keep up to date with what's going on in your industry and don't allow yourself to fall out of touch.

Don't let yourself become bored at work where you become desperate to leave and then start looking at any job to move to. Desperation leads to making rash decisions that you'll regret later on.

Don't change jobs without first considering all the pros and cons of staying in your current position versus moving to the new one. When you change jobs, it should be a progression in not only compensation but responsibilities, too.

Underemployment can lead to a downward spiral in your career that becomes difficult to escape from if you let it drag on too long. This is especially true in a difficult job market when employers can pick and choose who they want to hire.

Typically, they'll look at hiring people with a consistent track record of increased responsibilities during their career as opposed to someone who looks like they've stalled or regressed.

Carl Mueller is an Internet entrepreneur and professional recruiter. Carl has helped many job searchers find their dream career and would like to help clear up some of the job search myths that exist while helping job searchers avoid common job search mistakes that cost them jobs. Visit Carl's website to find your dream career: http://www.find-your-dream-career.com Ezine editors/Webmasters: Please feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your website. Please don't change any of the content and please ensure that you include the above bio that shows my website URL. If you would like me to address any specific career topics in future articles, please let me know.

 

Single Friend Etiquette: What Not to Ask an Unmarried Person

By Heather Rhoades

You would think in today's world where the word 'old spinster' is an outdated phrase and 'confirmed bachelor' means something very different than it used to years ago, people would have learned how to speak to an unmarried person politely. But I still hear rude personal questions and offhand remarks from other people about the fact that a person is not married. Most of the time, these impolite comments are made right to the person's face. There is certain etiquette when speaking to an unmarried person about the fact that they are unmarried. These are the five basic rules:

1. Do not refer to or ask how old a person is when talking about the fact that they are not married yet. In today's world, people get married in their 30s, 40s, even 50s for the very first time. Many people today consider getting married in your 20s to be too young and so they wait until they're a little bit older and more mature in order to find the right person. Not only are you being impolite when making comments about an unmarried person's age but you are also terribly old fashioned.

2. Do not ask the person to explain why they are still single. People have millions of reasons for being single. Each and every one of these reasons is none of your business. Don't ask if it has anything to do with children, being gay or sexual fears. Asking for a reason is just rude.

3. Do not assume that the person is not married because they have a fear of responsibility. Many people who are staying single into later life feel that they are being very responsible with this decision. With the rising divorce rates, many people firmly believe it is better to wait to get married rather than rush into anything that will result in heartbreak and financial ruin.

4. Do not accuse a person of being too particular. Just because you found the perfect partner early on, does not mean that everybody else will. Everyone is entitled to take as much time as they need to find right person for them. No one rushed you, so don't rush them.

5. Do not ask an unmarried person what 'exactly' they are looking for. I don't think anybody actually knows what exactly they're looking for in a soul mate. Even if someone thinks they know exactly they are looking for, chances are the person they eventually end up with will not be anything like they imagined. So it is just best not to ask.

So there you have it, five easy rules for the etiquette of speaking to an unmarried person. Just because the person is still single does not mean they are any less of a person and does not give you any more right to be a pompous ass.

This article was written by Heather A Rhoades and was sponsored by the Compare Best Online Dating website which allows you to compare different online dating services and choose the right one for you. Reprints of this article are encouraged as long as a live link is provided back to http://www.comparebestonlinedating.com.

Pillars of Success - Embrace The Present

As we progress through the journeys of our lives, careers and businesses, we often stop to reflect on where we are at a given point in time. Like mapping any trip, we have certain expectations of our progress along the way. Similarly, setting timelines for our goals make them more tangible and urgent. What happens, however, when we find ourselves at a place other than where we expected? A typical reaction is to explain, excuse or perhaps even criticize. The mere fact that we see ourselves as not being "as far along as we should be" passes negative judgment and sets the stage for the world of scarcity thinking. The situations where this kind of scarcity thinking can creep into our psyche are numerous. Here are some examples that may be familiar:

1. A person begins something that is new and uncertain and finds themselves in a group situation such as a class or educational program. Immediately, they start compare themselves to other and begin to think that "everyone else is so much more qualified or further along" and wonder how they will ever catch or keep up.

2. A corporate professional thinks their career is passing them by. They see themselves passed over time and time again for recognition, leadership opportunities or promotions. They wonder how it is that they are so stuck where they are and others are moving ahead of them

3. A new entrepreneur who is sure that they have done all the right things still hasn't achieved what they thought they would by this stage of their business. Like the professional, they see their peers moving effortlessly toward greater success. They may try new and different things, grasping at this idea or that but become more frustrated or despondent that they are still stuck.

In each of these examples and in others like them, the constraints of scarcity thinking become apparent. What is focused on with laser intensity is "WHAT IS NOT": what skills are deficient, what career progress or entrepreneurial success is not attained. The Present reinforces our sense of failure as seen through the lens of our own expectations or our assumptions about someone else's journey.

Step back for a moment and imagine that whatever your circumstances, whatever your present situation, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Where we are at any point in time is the cumulative effect of each of the decisions, actions, external events and our responses to them. Thus, while we may not be where we expected to be, we are where we are supposed to be. By embracing the present, we allow ourselves to discover the unique opportunities that are available to us right here and right now. Instead of beating ourselves up for not being somewhere else, we can identify the options that may have been overlooked otherwise. Perhaps instead of being "stuck", we are where we are because there is knowledge or information that we need to gather before taking our next steps. Finally, consider the possibility that we are where we are because we need the chance to step back, catch our breath and enjoy things that may have been pushed to the side in the pursuit of our goals. Our goals and objectives are like stops or progress points on a trip. We set a target for where we would like to be at a certain point on our journey. What would you do if you find yourself in Flagstaff at the end of your day's travels instead of Albuquerque? Do you "fire" yourself? Do you cancel your trip or give up and go home? Do you keep driving relentlessly to make Albuquerque before you stop? Probably not. Instead, you likely consider the circumstances that brought you as far as you are, reassess your journey and plans and then go out to discover the surprises of a place that don't know very well. The same approach works for our life and professional goals as well. It's your journey, and each stop along the way is an important part of the map that will guide you where you want to go. Enjoy where you are. You are supposed to be here.

Elaine Halliday is director of Six Sigma Living, a division of Kiwi Development Solutions, LLP whose primary focus is to help solo-professionals and micro-businesses build their success from the inside out by providing consulting, coaching and training that promotes business prosperity and abundance. Elaine is a CPA, CTA Certified Coach and Six Sigma Certified Green Belt. With over 20 years experience in a variety of roles including accounting , finance, sales, marketing, operations and management as well as navigating many successful transitions between corporate employment and solo-entrepreneurship, Elaine believes that with creativity, flexibility, purpose and a good sense of humor all things are possible. To find out how Six Sigma Living can help you build success from the inside out, please visit http://www.sixsigmaliving.com

 

The Little Red Hen - With a New Moral

The little red hen decided to plant some wheat, so one day she planted it. After she got all done she called the goose, pig, and cat and said, "Nobody helped me plant the wheat." To which they all said, "We did not know you were planting it."

All summer long the little red hen told the goose, pig, and cat that there would be a lot of work in harvesting the wheat and that she would like some help. To this the goose, pig, and cat said, "Let us know when you will be harvesting ahead of time, and we will help."

One day the little red hen saw the wheat was ready to harvest and went out harvested the wheat all by herself. She then called the goose, pig, and cat and said, "Why didn't you help me harvest the wheat?" To which they all said, "We did not know you were harvesting it."

The wheat had to be stored for a few months before milling, and it kept falling out of the silo. Each time, the little red hen would pick it up and put it in the silo and then call the goose, pig, and cat and say, "Thanks for helping me put the wheat back." To which they said, "We did not know you were putting it back or that it had fallen out of the silo."

During these months the little hen mentioned how much help she would need to load the wheat onto the truck to take it to the mill. The goose, pig, and cat all said, "Tell us when, and we will come and help." One day the hen called the goose, pig, and cat and said, "I had to load the wheat on the truck all by myself yesterday." To which they said, " You should have called us, we would have helped."

When the wheat came back from the mill, the little red hen called the goose, pig, and cat and asked if they wanted any wheat. To which they all said, "Yes!"

So the goose, pig, and cat came over and got great big portions of wheat and went home very happy and satisfied. Meanwhile, the little red hen sat in her house and brooded. "The goose, pig, and cat never seem to help me. I think I will get rid of my wheat fields, because I am tired of doing it all myself," she thought. And eventually she did. The moral to this story is: Some people are not happy unless they are unhappy.

Kurt Yordy Retail Business Consultant http://www.farmmarketprofits.com