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Sunday, December 2, 2007

Single Friend Etiquette: What Not to Ask an Unmarried Person

By Heather Rhoades

You would think in today's world where the word 'old spinster' is an outdated phrase and 'confirmed bachelor' means something very different than it used to years ago, people would have learned how to speak to an unmarried person politely. But I still hear rude personal questions and offhand remarks from other people about the fact that a person is not married. Most of the time, these impolite comments are made right to the person's face. There is certain etiquette when speaking to an unmarried person about the fact that they are unmarried. These are the five basic rules:

1. Do not refer to or ask how old a person is when talking about the fact that they are not married yet. In today's world, people get married in their 30s, 40s, even 50s for the very first time. Many people today consider getting married in your 20s to be too young and so they wait until they're a little bit older and more mature in order to find the right person. Not only are you being impolite when making comments about an unmarried person's age but you are also terribly old fashioned.

2. Do not ask the person to explain why they are still single. People have millions of reasons for being single. Each and every one of these reasons is none of your business. Don't ask if it has anything to do with children, being gay or sexual fears. Asking for a reason is just rude.

3. Do not assume that the person is not married because they have a fear of responsibility. Many people who are staying single into later life feel that they are being very responsible with this decision. With the rising divorce rates, many people firmly believe it is better to wait to get married rather than rush into anything that will result in heartbreak and financial ruin.

4. Do not accuse a person of being too particular. Just because you found the perfect partner early on, does not mean that everybody else will. Everyone is entitled to take as much time as they need to find right person for them. No one rushed you, so don't rush them.

5. Do not ask an unmarried person what 'exactly' they are looking for. I don't think anybody actually knows what exactly they're looking for in a soul mate. Even if someone thinks they know exactly they are looking for, chances are the person they eventually end up with will not be anything like they imagined. So it is just best not to ask.

So there you have it, five easy rules for the etiquette of speaking to an unmarried person. Just because the person is still single does not mean they are any less of a person and does not give you any more right to be a pompous ass.

This article was written by Heather A Rhoades and was sponsored by the Compare Best Online Dating website which allows you to compare different online dating services and choose the right one for you. Reprints of this article are encouraged as long as a live link is provided back to http://www.comparebestonlinedating.com.

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