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Thursday, December 6, 2007

ADD - Talking Can Be Dangerous to Your Friendships

ADD brains are extraordinary. They move from idea to idea at the speed of light, and often, they're absolutely brilliant. At least, you think so. But your mind fills up with so many ideas that you just need to let it out. You want to talk to someone. It doesn't matter whom. It can be a total stranger. Any warm listener will do, and you go on and on and on and on and they keep trying to make excuses to get away, but you just keep talking. Friends and relatives might not be as rude, but strangers will just get up and walk away from you, and you'll be sitting there wondering what you said wrong.

Here's the thing: People can only take so much before they shutdown. They don't understand that your ADD brain is just so full of great ideas that it wants to explode and that talking helps you to clear your mind. There's nothing wrong with that, when your listener realizes that it's your ADD and knows when to ease you into silence.

Communication isn't a one-way street. To have a conversation with others, there has to be an exchange of ideas and information. What your ADD brain drives you to do is lecture. That's great in school, but people who don't understand ADD won't readily agree to sit and listen. Picture Albert Einstein on the bus, explaining quantum theory to a total stranger. They'd be interested for about the first 20 seconds, and then start snoring, right? Well, it's kind of the same thing.

How do you stop when you've been ADD and doing this all your life?

You can go into a bedroom, close the door, and talk to yourself. It sounds a little silly, but when you talk your ideas out, don't' you reach an inner peace for just a while? Isn't that what you're looking for? Talking ideas out often clarifies them for you, as well. By the time you're ready to pass them along, you will be able to do it in a much more efficient manner. But you should still allow them to stop you. When they've had enough, it should be OK for them to say, "I get it, and thanks for sharing. Now, can we talk about something else?" That's when you should realize that you've gone too far. If you can accept that they want you to stop and do, they'll stop avoiding you.

ADD is not a curse; it's a blessing. You can think with the speed and power of lightning, and you can come up with some pretty cool ideas. The trouble is that they all come at once and you do need a way to brain dump. So, talk to yourself. Or, if that seems too silly, write it or type it out. When you do those things, you'll find that you're more secure in your ideas because you won't be able to forget them, and you can streamline them before presenting them to someone else. When you're a more considerate talker, you'll have more considerate listeners that are excited to hear your newest plans.

Tellman Knudson is CEO of Overcome Everything, Inc. and a certified hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner who has helped many clients achieve ADD Success. Take the ADD test and sign up for his Free Weekly ADD Success Tips when you visit at

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